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Make leaving easier than explaining.
Most people don't need a better fighting plan. They need a better exit plan.
Your exit's part of the plan
Space is safety. Distance, exits, people, barriers, staff, and support create options. Your exit's part of the plan.
01 — The exit test
If leaving gets harder, pay attention.
You're allowed to change the plan.
Leaving isn't weakness. You don't need unanimous approval, a winning argument, or courtroom-quality evidence to exit. A prior yes, RSVP, or commitment doesn't remove your right to leave.
- ?Can I leave without debating?
- ?Is someone blocking, following, steering, distracting, or pressuring me?
- ?Is someone trying to move me somewhere quieter or more private?
- ?Am I staying because I feel guilty, embarrassed, or worried about seeming rude?
- ?Do I have a person, staff member, or public place I can move toward?
02 — Space is safety
Four moves that create options.
01
Create distance
Step away, change sides of the street, switch train cars, move toward people.
02
Add a barrier
Use a counter, table, vehicle, door, crowd, or staff area.
03
Recruit help
Make a specific request to a specific person.
04
Exit
Leave the setting. You don't need unanimous approval.
Uncomfortable truth
You don't need a better explanation. You need a better exit.
03 — If–then plans
Build a plan that survives contact with reality.
Try this now
Write one if–then plan now: “If [situation] and [trigger], then I'll [action].” Keep it boring.
Pre-loaded examples
- If someone follows me after I change direction, then I'll enter the nearest staffed business and ask for help.
- If a date ignores a physical or verbal boundary, then I'll leave, contact my check-in person, and arrange safe transportation.
- If I feel unsafe walking to my car, then I'll return to the store and ask whether someone can walk with me.
- If I'm at an event and my friend wants to leave, then I'll leave with them without making them defend the decision.
Make your own
Your plans stay on this device — nothing is sent anywhere. Use the full builder on the Tools page to save and print.
04 — Ask for help like you mean it
Specific request, specific person.
“Can you walk with me to my car?”
“Can I stand here until my ride arrives?”
“I don't feel safe. Can you call security?”
“You in the blue shirt, please call 911.”
“I need help getting away from this person.”
Turn this into a real plan.
Build, save, and print your personal safety plan.